Unity Ceremony Script Options

~*~ Unity Candle ~*~ Blending of Sands ~*~ Wine Ceremony ~*~ Hand Ceremony ~*~ Rose Ceremony ~*~ Ring Warming ~*~

There are several ways to physically demonstrate through ritual the joining of your lives that we celebrate with words. Many couples feel that the wedding just isn't complete without one of these ceremonies within the ceremony. Different rituals are being created all the time but here are a few of the more popular ones.

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Unity Candle

Variations are plentiful and include; having the parents light their respective child's candle, the Bride and Groom offering a rose to their parent(s) after the candle has been lit, having the Best Man and Maid of Honor light the tapers, lighting the tapers before the wedding begins, lighting the tapers directly before the candle portion of the ceremony, extinguishing the tapers once the pillar has been lit, preserving the flames of each taper following the lighting of the pillar and many more. Each one of these variations, or any other you can think of, can be explained as part of the ceremony.

Personally, I much prefer that the Bride and Groom allow their tapers to burn and I like to add this paragraph (or something like it) to my ceremonies to explain the significance of the act.

[Bride] and [Groom] were individuals long before they met. They continued to be individuals while they built this relationship together and they will remain individuals for the rest of their lives. This wedding ceremony does not extinguish their unique personhood, therefore they do not extinguish their candles today. We celebrate the addition of a marriage to their lives and the increase of light in all of our lives.

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Blending of Sands

This ceremony holds the same significance as the Unity Candle ceremony, but it is better suited to outdoor weddings on windy days and weddings of parents who want to include their children in the "unity act".

Sand is used to represent the Bride and Groom and anyone else participating. Each person holds a small container of sand that represents them, then all participants pour their sand into a larger container that is used to represent the combined family. Many couples like to include a container of sand to represent God (or Spirituality or Love) as well, in which case the officiant pours for God and a three (or more) color blend is the final result.

Variations include; using sand from a beloved location or the beach the wedding is taking place on, using colored sand (available in many craft stores) with a different color for each participant, choosing a container that can be sealed so the blended sands can be displayed in the home (without fear of what will happen to it when you need to pack and move it elsewhere), having parents pour sand into the individual containers either before or during the wedding ceremony, leaving some of the sand in the individual containers and many more. Any aspect that seems important to the family can be incorporated into and explained during the ceremony.

One possible way of doing this is:

[Bride] and [Groom], today you make a commitment to combine your lives and your destinies each with the other. You each have a container of sand that represents you, all that you were, all that you are and all that you will ever be. I also have a container of sand that represents the eternal Love that binds the two of you together. The blending of these three elements into one, unique and beautiful relationship is symbolized through the blending of these sands. Though these sands are now separate and unique, once they are blended, they will never again be the same, for never can they be separated and poured into these individual containers again. In the same way, never again will the two of you be separated, for this marriage and the Love that binds you will blend and change your lives forever.

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Wine Ceremony

It is rumored that this tradition began in France whenever the children of two vineyard owners married.

Again, the Bride and Groom are represented by separate containers, this time they are small decanters of wine. Traditionally, the Bride is symbolized by white wine and the Groom with red, though many couples choose wines based on their individual wine preferences and not on color or tradition. Each pours their wine into a single glass and then both drink from it. This represents both the blending and the accepting of each other.

There are a few variations on this theme; the officiant pours the wine while offering a traditional "Wine blessing", the wines are poured into a larger decanter then into two glasses, one for the Bride and one for the Groom, the guests are asked to share the wine as well (requires more wine, but can be a welcome touch, depending on the guests) and many more. The only limitation would be the rules of your chosen venue, some do not allow alcohol to be served, though they might waive such a restriction for ceremonial uses.

One possible way of incorporating such a ceremony would be:

[Bride] and [Groom], you have chosen to signify the blending of your lives with wine. You have each chosen a wine to represent your life, your heart and your experiences. Each of these contain properties of sweetness. The happiness, joy, hope, peace, love and delight you have known in your past. Each of these also contains properties of bitterness as well. The disappointments, sorrow, grief, despair, and struggles you have known. Please combine them together now, in one cup, that the sweet and the bitter may represent all the experiences that life offers.

This glass, with its many intermingled qualities, we now call "The Chalice of Life" (or "The Loving Cup"). Now you may invite each other to drink deeply from this “Chalice of Life”. By so doing you open your heart and your lives, not only to each other, but also to the all of the challenges and joys life and marriage has to offer you both.

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Hand Ceremony

This ceremony is a little different from the others above. It has less of a unity/ blending meaning and more of a love and acceptance meaning. It can be extremely powerful and, due to its relative rarity, it has the potential of bringing tears to the eyes of guests who haven't seen it before.

Again, of course there are many variations, but they are pretty much all reflected in the script used for the ceremony.

One such script goes like this:

[Bride], please face [Groom], and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.

(Bride and Groom turn to face each other, with his upturned hands resting in hers.)

These are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he pledges his commitment and promises to love you all the days of his life.

These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too feels his child stirring within your womb.

These are the hands that will give you support as he encourages you to chase down your dreams.

These are the hands that will massage your feet, after long days.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

They are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief clouds your mind.

These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes - eyes that are filled completely with his love and desire for you. (Groom, you’re more than welcome to do EXACTLY that at this point in the ceremony…)

Bless them.

(Bride kisses the palm of each of Groom's hands.)

Together, everything you wish for can be realized.

[Groom], please hold [Bride]'s hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you.

These are the hands that are smooth, young, and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her commitment and promises to love you all the days of her life.

These are the hands that will hold your child in tender love, soothing through illness and hurts, supporting and encouraging along the way.

These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams.

These are the hands that will massage tension from your neck and back after long days.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times. They are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick or console you when you are grieving.

These are the hands that will hold yours in joy and excitement and hope.

*[Bride]: They are. (optional)*

Bless them.

(Groom kisses the palm of each of Bride’s hands.)

Together, everything you wish for can be realized.

Let us pray.

God, bless the hands that hold each other upon this sacred day. May they always be held with love and trust. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in grace, rich in caring, and devoted to reaching for your perfection. May [Bride] and [Groom] forever see these hands as their healers, protectors, shelters, and guides.

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Rose Ceremony

Roses have been used to convey feelings of love for centuries. Many wedding ceremonies incorporate this symbology in various ways. Often the Bride and/or Groom will present a rose to their mothers as a way of honoring them. Sometimes roses are used to represent family or friends who are unable to attend the ceremony, especially those who have passed on recently. Roses can be used in all sorts of ways, but the "Rose Ceremony" described here uses them as the first gift exchanged between a husband and a wife.

Many websites share the exact same ceremony, so I wrote this one a little differently. If you want the "traditional" wording, I'm happy to offer that as well.

[Bride] and [Groom], you have exchanged your vows and the symbols of those vows, your wedding rings. Those rings will forever be a public acknowledgement of your promises to each other. Now, in the presence of this company, I ask you to exchange something else, a more personal symbol of your vows as your first gift to each other as husband and wife.

[Officiant presents Bride and Groom with a long-stemmed red rose]

For centuries the rose has been considered a symbol of love. A single red rose means the same thing to us now that it did for your grandparents, and for their grandparents before them - it means "I love you." So it only makes sense that your first gift - as husband and wife - should be a single red rose. Please give your gifts to each other now.

Now, in many ways it seems as if you have done nothing at all. A moment ago you were holding a rose - and now you are still holding a single rose. In some ways, a wedding ceremony is much like this. In some ways, tomorrow is going to seem no different than yesterday. But in fact today, just now, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts anyone can hope to attain - a gift I hope you always remember - the gift of a true and abiding love within the bonds of marriage.

[Groom] and [Bride], no matter where you choose to live in the future, no matter how small or grand your home may be, you would be wise to choose a special spot for roses; then, on each anniversary of this day, you may each take a rose to that spot. Do this both as a way to celebrate your marriage and as a reminder that your marriage is built upon a foundation of love.

All husbands and wives go through times when they feel hurt by the other. It's disturbingly easy to hurt the ones we love the most and frustratingly easy to be hurt by them as well. It's often very hard to find the right words to say "I'm sorry" or "I forgive you"; "I need you" or "I am hurting". If this should ever happen to either of you and you simply can not find the words you need, leave a long-stemmed red rose in the spot you have both chosen for your roses - for that rose will then say what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words.

That rose says the words: "I still love you." The other should accept this rose for the words which can not be found, and remember the love and hope that you both share today.

[Bride] and [Groom], if you should forget everything else about this wedding ceremony, remember only that it was love that brought you here today, it is love which will make yours a glorious union, and it is only by love that your marriage shall endure.

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Ring Warming

A nice touch for a smaller wedding is a ring warming. The wedding rings are secured together with a ribbon or in a small bag and passed to each guest in turn. The guest with the rings gets the opportunity to offer a prayer, blessing or wish for the wedding couple, either silently or aloud. In this manner the rings are "warmed" with good thoughts before being returned to the officiant and either blessed or simply handed to the Bride and Groom to exchange with each other.

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